Pregnant after 6 miscarriages and I can not bring myself to go to the doctor, help!?

My last period was Dec 3, I have gotten BFP. I have rescheduled 3 doctor's appts. because I can not bring my self to go. I have had 6 MC's, one at 15 wks., and I do not want to go to the doctor because then it will be real, and I will see the heart beat on the ultra sound and I do not think I can handle losing another one. On one hand I am afraid they will say no this one isn't going to work either and on the other hand they might say everything looks great like before and I still lose it???? I don't know what to do, I do not want to get attatched if I am not going to carry it. I have been taking all my prenates and stuff so what are they really going to do anyway?